i sat here laughing at this for like 30 seconds before finally hitting reblog
it’s awful being a third wheel
what about that one down on the bottom
why do we assume they’re gay
I look up at the moon tonight wondering if you are looking at it too. All I can think of is you tonight<3
So babe you left today for basic training and I haven’t talked to you since Friday it feels completely weird to not be talking to you right now. I just wanted to let you know that I did go sing at karaoke like I promised and I have started doing things alone no I didn’t go to town but I did go to dinner aloe.. haha I can’t wait for these first two weeks to be up because I’m waiting for my first letter(:
like you like crazy! <3
Meeting you was honestly the best thing that could have happened! you are turning me into someone I never thought I could be you are having me open up and realize that I can do things alone the next six months are going to be so hard but I am so ready for them and this time will tell if we will be able to be together I told you I would be here when you got back and I can reassure you I will be. I can’t wait to get my first letter from boot camp from you because from here on out im going to want to check my phone every five seconds waiting for that text that I know I am not going to get but thats okay I will be now waiting for that letter!! thank you for getting me to go to karaoke and step out of my shelf cause if I had not promised I’d sing I wouldn’t have gone. Now I sit in my dorm watching the first movie we watched together that had songs in it that you sang to me, yeah I can’t wait for you to come home.
Four days. Four days is all it took for me to feel the way I do for you. I can’t explain it in words and you certainly take my breath away. It feels like I have known you forever. and just in a short time you are leaving for boot camp. I support you with all my heart. I have told you that I will be here when you get back in six months and yes it has only been four days but it I were to let go of this I would regret it and I am not about to regret this you are everything that I have been looking for and you will remain everything that I will have. It is going to be a long wait but they say the absence makes the heart grow fonder… So we shall see <3
So I just wanted to sit down and write you this letter even though I have been starring at this one blanket piece of paper for a good week. I don’t know where to start because I feel like everything I want to write down and tell you I have told you so many times before. I don’t know if I should continue to sit here and write down the things I have already said to you time and time again and I don’t know as if it is helping. All I know is that my heart still longs for you and I still want you even through everything. This is the first time since we broke up I can tell you I honestly can let my ipod play all the way through and guess what song came up.. the song you said was our this is the first time I have been able to listen to the whole song without shedding a tear and maybe just maybe it is because I am holding them back with everything I have or maybe it is because I just need to hear it to know that what I feel for you is really real. I have no doubts that it is anymore because I honestly can tell you with my whole heart I still want you I still want the person I fell for I still want the guy that I could look at and not have to fake a smile I want the guy that could touch me and my heart would melt. Where did that guy go? What happened to the one that smushed me up against the inside of the car on our trip and made me laugh just by doing the dorkiest things that’s the person I fell in love with that is the person I wish every day I could call mine again what happened to him?
My mind races back and forth with thoughts filled with you and just for once I really wish they would just disappear. It hurts so much knowing I can’t reach out and touch you anymore. It hurts knowing that I can’t roll over and kiss you on the cheek anymore. It hurts knowing that the phone call I am so dying to make I can no longer make anymore. It hurts knowing that everything we went through was gone in a blink of an eye.
I know longer know which way is up and which way is sideways it kind of feels like everything is just spinning in circles and I just can’t stop. I am getting dizzy with the thoughts of you that fill my head and it is no longer a good dizzy feeling. These thoughts that fill my head are ones that I never thought would cross my my mind. The way I look at you doesn’t seem to be the same and it hurts more than you could ever imagine.
It kills knowing that you are no longer the same person I once knew. and I can no longer look at you with those same eyes and that same smile I use to have and it hurts me to the core. I wish I could just have that same smile and those sparkly eyes I use to look at you with! I miss everything and I am not the type of girl to look at a man and tell them to tell me what to do! but that is what I am asking for right here right now. Tell me what to do! that’s all I ask! I don’t know how else to put it..
I’m gonna be there to meet you with a warm, wet kiss
And I’m gonna love you like nobody loves you
And I’ll earn your trust making memories of us
I’m gonna love you like nobody loves you
And I’ll win your trust making memories of us
The fact that I am trying so hard to be here for you through everything that you are dealing with is so hard knowing that I can’t wrap you up in my arms and comfort you that is all I want to do! Being just friends with you is probably the hardest thing that I could be dealing with right now. I know our feelings are so strong for each other but yet some how we have decided to just be friends even though it kills not only myself but you as well.. Like I said I am not going to sit here and wait I have a life to live and things that I want to accomplish and as sad as this is I am only a phone call away and I could be yours again the fact that I take you with all your baggage and all your flaws has to mean something to you because it means something to me. It is so hard for me to be as hard as I am on you with the things I said to you before I left but it was time that my voice was heard. I am just glad that we came to an compromise together.. You will always be in my heart that I can promise you..